I was getting dressed a few weeks ago and this artist was performing (can't remember what show). I just remember feeling grabbed by the lyrics, "Sometimes Moms and Dads fall out of love. Sometimes best intentions just ain't enough," over an acoustic guitar melody. What is this broody melody discussing family conflict, intention & adolescent confusion? I MUST KNOW. I had to google it immediately. Thank you for this, James TW. I've shared it with a few clients & families since, and it's prompted such heartfelt discussions about the confusion, guilt, & shame that sometimes accompanies separation and divorce.
Adolescents are impacted in different ways than younger children and adult children in families of divorce. Due to their stage of development and what can already be a very disorienting period of transition for them biologically, socially and emotionally, parents going separate ways can bring up a pain they don't know what to do with. Divorce is common (but don't believe all the hype about 50% divorce rates), and greatly impacts all involved. It forces a physical, emotional and mental adjustment to entire households and extensions of family, new norms, and changes to what is said around who and how.
Given that adolescents are still largely dependent on their parents, this can create lots of anxiety, angst, anger and of course, loss. What adolescents are already experiencing due to puberty can become exacerbated by family conflict, and transitioning to different living arrangements can take longer to get used to and have longer term implications. It's imperative for parents to instill trust of themselves in their adolescents, to let them know that they are still a source for guidance and stability, and that they are LOVED unconditionally.
I can really appreciate bringing this impact to mainstream in a more palatable and teachable way, through good music. Are there lyrics to any songs that stop you in your tracks? Happens often for me so I'll be sure to share! Til next time, Dr. A